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‘Tidying Up’ is a masterclass in learned helplessness
As a longtime devotee of minimalism and big fan of Marie Kondo, I had high hopes for her Netflix special, released on New Year’s Day.
And in many ways, it delivers. The viewer is treated to a video version of many concepts readers of her books will be familiar with: tidying by category, putting each of your possessions through a ‘joy check,” folding your shirts the right way. Sure, the watered-down TV version skips many of the more granular sorting techniques and nuances of storage detailed in her guides, glossing over categories like books as if the families featured don’t own any. But the diminutive Kondo is charming and the families she helps are likeable.
Why then, after just three episodes, did I feel like I just needed a break?
It occurred to me that I was unsettled not by the format or content, but by the learned helplessness of the people featured, especially the men. They reminded me of the “feminist” husband described by Britt Tao in her fantastic and surprisingly (to her) viral piece on his habits: “He will not get up to participate in the maintenance of our shared household unless I explicitly request it,” she wrote, and every woman in America nodded her head.
My own husband just last night cheerfully congratulated himself for vacuuming, noting that he didn’t mind…
